A teacher is an important person in a child’s life, right? For an entire year, your child’s teacher spends as many, if not more hours each day with your child than you do. They are a role model and you probably hear the phrase Mrs. so-and-so says… non-stop. Teachers are crucial in the life of a child and it is important to start off on the right foot with them to ensure a good year for you and your child.
I’m certainly not saying a teacher will be unkind or unfair to a child with whose family they do not have a good rapport, but I certainly am suggesting that having a good relationship with your child’s teacher can only help strengthen the bond between your child and the teacher, which will make his/her learning experience better.
Here are my tips for starting off on the right foot with your child’s teacher:
Return Forms Promptly
This is the first chance you have to start off on the right foot with your child’s teacher. In the first week of school, many, many forms will be sent home for you to fill out. Information sheets, policies, media release, the list goes on.
Yes, it absolutely is a pain to fill out these forms, especially if you’ve been working all day, wrangling kids to and from activities, cooking supper. But it’s also a pain for the teacher to have to track down each and every form in the very busy and exhausting first week of school.
If the school sends home five forms in the first week, that results in a minimum of 100 forms the teacher needs to track down. Hand in the paperwork promptly (this also sets a good example for your children!). Don’t be the parent that the teacher needs to e-mail or call a million times to get those forms back.
Also consider that the teacher has a limited number of hours in the day. Would you rather have them spend that time calling parents to track down forms x, y and z, or planning amazing lessons for your child?
If, for some reason, you need more time to complete the paperwork (e.g. you are divorced and need to get dad’s mailing address, etc.), a quite note saying you’ve received the paperwork and will return ASAP will let the teacher know you’re on top of things.
Pay Fees or Make Arrangements
Similar to returning forms, many schools collect student fees, supply fees, etc. at the beginning of the year. This task often falls on the teacher. Again, being prompt about payment is courteous and respectful of the teacher’s time.
If you’re in a position where you are unable to pay a given fee, be upfront and let the teacher know (most are more than understanding). Whether you will be unable to pay until your next paycheck, or need another arrangement to be made, it is best to communicate with the teacher or school.
Label Your Things
This is an easy one. Label your child’s personal items. This makes it so much easier to return lost or misplaced items. Believe me, the teacher hates having a giant bin of lost and found items as much as you hate not having sweaters and hats come home.
Shoes
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This (hopefully) applies to younger grades only. If you send your child in shoes with shoelaces, the child needs to be able to tie them. A teacher cannot tie 30 pairs of shoes each and every day (often multiple times a day). We would never have time to teach anything!
If your child isn’t able to tie, send in velcro or another kind of slip-on shoe. You can also buy these curly shoelaces (the world’s greatest invention) if your child LOVES a pair of lace-up shoes but can’t tie.
Show Up When You Say You Will
If you have volunteered to help out at school or on a field trip, or even worse, made an appointment for a parent-teacher interview, please show up, or call to cancel. Again, this is simply being respectful of someone else’s time.
Homework
Here’s a big one: homework. If your child is in the younger grades (K-2), it really is your job to ensure homework is completed. No teacher expects a five or six year old child to have the discipline to complete their homework themselves. This is a task that falls to the parents. Please do not say “Freddy didn’t do his homework this week. It’s my fault.” We know it’s your fault.
Instead, if something has come up to prevent homework being done (this happens to everyone once and a while), try saying “We didn’t get Freddy’s homework done because of…. If you can please send it home over the weekend, we will make sure it’s completed.”
If you’re having a tough time having your child do their homework, whether it be fighting with you, or simply that your child seems to not understand the work, don’t hesitate to have a conversation with the teacher! We don’t want homework to turn into a three hour battle full of tears (your child’s or your own). The teacher may have some great strategies for you to try, or may be able to alter the homework in some way. If you are having trouble with homework completion, be sure to read this post as well!
Handle Concerns Appropriately
If you have a concern about something going on at school, be sure to handle it appropriately. That means contacting your child’s teacher directly (usually a phone call if it’s a sensitive matter, as e-mails can be easily misconstrued), rather than going to the principal or another supervisor before speaking to the teacher.
Try to frame the concern as a problem that can be solved by working together, rather than an accusation. For example, “I’m noticing Sally is having trouble with her math and is feeling frustrated. What do you suggest we could do as a team to help her?” rather than “Why are you failing Sally in math?”.
Whatever you do, don’t gossip about the issue with other parents, or ESPECIALLY post about it on social media!
Be Involved
This doesn’t mean you have to volunteer five days a week or be the top fundraiser of the year. It simply means staying in touch about your child’s progress. Teachers love parents who are attentive and care about their children’s lives at school.
Nothing fills a teacher’s heart more than if they get a note saying “So-and-so did great with her reading last night. We are so proud of her!” It’s also great when I get a note saying “so-and-so seems to be having trouble with his addition facts, can you recommend a resource or activity to help him?” Teachers care so much about your kids’ education and knowing that you do too is so edifying.
Keep in Mind Restraints when Making Requests
Realize that a teacher typically has 20-30+ students and only so much time in the day. As much as we want to be there at all times for each and every student, sometimes that is impossible.
The teacher cannot guarantee your child has eaten every bite of their sandwich before eating their granola bar when they’re on cafeteria duty and are in charge of 150 students. The teacher will try their best to make sure your child comes home with the mittens you sent him in, but if he loses one on the playground, the teacher probably don’t have time to search for it before he goes home, because they are responsible for 20 other five year-olds and can’t leave them in the classroom unattended to go looking for it.
When you’re making a request of your child’s teacher, consider that a teacher usually has just one, or possibly no breaks in a day and is responsibly for a large number of children at all times. There are some requests that simply are impossible to do, not because we don’t care about your child, but we’re only human! Of course, when making a request, the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ work wonders!
Know that the Teacher is an Ally
If there is some kind of trouble your child is having, know that the teacher is your ally, not the enemy. You and your child’s teacher both have the same goal: helping your child grow, both academically and as a person. With that mindset, you will be much more productive and we will have a wonderful year!
Bonus: Say Thank You
This is totally not necessary. Teachers do what they do because they love their job and students, not for any recognition. But it is definitely a bonus to have parents say thank you and recognize the hard work they do. A quick e-mail or note will do, and will brighten their day! Double bonus points if you also mention it to the principal!!
Do you have another other tips on getting along with your child’s teacher? Comment below!
I have so much respect for teachers! I can’t even imagine the stress they feel to care for and teach so many little ones everyday. This is such a reminder for us as the new school year begins.
So important! I’m a teacher myself, and wish there were more parents like you out there. I taught middle school students and parents seemed to think their kids were older enough to handle a lot of responsibilities, but they’re not. They’re still little. They just think they’re older. 🙂
It’s always important to have respect with your children’s teachers. Thank you for the post.
These are some awesome tips. My daughter is too young for school right now but I know this will come in handy in the future.
Thanks for sharing this! This is helpful to me since my daughter will be starting her first year of pre-school!
Excellent advice! Sometimes it’s easy to forget this teacher relationship with all the other hectic routines.
These are great tips! Teachers have such an important job, but it can definitely be a rough one. Dealing with uncooperative parents must be the worst part. My goal is to be as helpful and supportive to teachers as possible. Not only to make my life and my child’s easier, but to make the teacher’s life easier too!
As my son is starting school I found this really helpful!! It’s so important to build a good relationship with those teachers who will be caring for your child.
This is a great post! My son started kindergarten on Tuesday and I have learned a lot from working with his Pre-K teacher to keep an open line of communication. This became critical when my son was struggling with some speech issues. I will be honest, my husband didn’t take too well th information the teacher was giving him about my son’s progress. Once the teacher and I were able to sit down and talk about what was going on and also come up with a plan to help my son, life got easier for all of us.
I never thought too much about request and how there are many other kids in the class with parents making request from the teacher. I will definitely keep that in mind the next time I am thinking of asking my son’s teacher for something.